~Stranger to the Sunrise~

The only emotion he knows is stoic

The only expression is stone faced

Bold faced with his words

Mr. Strong and Silent burns like a third degree

A phD

In you don't know me

And you never really will.

Running still

Like deep water

Waiting for an approaching hell

A smile would spoil the statuesque

And spare the beauty of a heartless chest

No love lost, no love found

None gained and nothing to explain

No messy spats

No I told you that’s and I told you so's.

Simple logic, all head and no heart.

All signals but no beat.

No rhythm, no sound and no heat.

Well I'm beat.

Battered and bruised from running with no feet.

No legs, all this talk and no journey to undertake

Speeding down a highway with no evidence of a brake

And falling headfirst for this bitch in a ditch with no exit

In sight

Just a one-sided fight.

Beating against a brick wall and hoping a hole forms

So I could just touch the inside

Feel what he feels

To bear witness to the first throes of passion

The vim and the verve

That bittersweet symphony that's life.

Now that's life that's worth living for

Worth starting and ending a fight for

For just one glimpse

Of what lies beneath

His still waters

To glance beneath his skin

Behind the brawn

Below the brain

To open his voice

To stoke the fire

To expose a vice

A sin of empathy

Then carefully

Forgive and give penance

Just one hour farther

Father forgive me

For I have sinned

But there's no room for confession

No veil to pull between

Just embers and ice

Never quite hot

Never all cold

And I'm too lucid to be lukewarm

As clear as he is opaque

And he sees right though me.

He's a book that you can't judge by the movie

But flaws and all

He's too human to fake

Too real to mistake

Too grounded to shake

He's my rock and my shelter

Too loved to forsake.

Mr. Strong and Silent

Is above reproach and beyond redemption

And I won't have it any other way

I just want to be a part of him

To sink into his skin

There's an easy way out

But I stay locked in

Just wrapped up in him

In every way.

And all it takes is that word

That only I can hear

A whisper meant for me alone

Floating purposeful on the air

A side to him I seldom see

No red and blue frames to view in 4D

Just an invitation and an R.S.V.P.

A sight that will never be unseen

Unshakeable

And almost untouchable

But for a privileged few

Just me and you.

A four- shoed pilgrimage.

Just twenty toes and some prose

To see where that mind goes

Where a guarded heart grows

How it opens at the close.

I'll walk a mile for that inch

Too far gone to turn back now

So I walk in stride

With nothing to hide

'Til he has something to show.

Khristal Griffith

For the days when you owe everything
And nothing you know is owned
When you search for answers in anarchy
And you dread getting old
For the life time has given in vain
When a minute is no longer there
When rust is the only change you know
And its corrosion is all you hear

(Smile your sad smile)

For the days when you birth pity

And can only see your sins
When contrition is a weakness
And you don’t subject to such things
For the simple Sunday morning
When the rain cums on your face
When you sit in silence, too vain to speak
And you stand in line to protect your place

(Smile your proud smile)

For the days when doubt is doubtful
And not a thing can take your joy
When simple is all you seek
And complexity is a ploy
For the moment hate is forsaken
When all you can taste is love
When it dances on your stomach
And finally freed of latex glove.

(Smile your sated smile)

For the days when life is music
And the beat thumps in your heart
When the miracle IS survival
And you made it seem an art
For the nights of toss and turning
When you know they are no more
When you slip into your solace
And you sleep an hour more.

(Smile your tranquil smile)

Some days your need for reason
Is nothing but a season
And you smile so much broader
For the love without a lover
You know no pain or sickness
Just a heart in love with quickness
Beating for the sake of living
Loving for the sake of joy
Happy, just to have peace.

Just to smile a simple smile.

So I posted the previous poem before (in full length) before with my old template but unfortunately, with the new template (that I am still tweaking) it proved to be much too long and was messing it up. So I had to break it into parts. They're still relevant though.. read and enjoy and let me know what you think.

Also expect a new poem later on today.

Instant coffee, Instant Photos

Right now, Today!

Yesterday is when we want it

What happened to those days

When you could take a leisurely walk down the street

Without feeling like Alice's little white rabbit

I'm late, I'm LATE!

When last did you watch the sky float by?

Yuh too busy using your

Cellular Phones, Fax Machines, EMAIL!!

Everything on the go,

Broadband is too slow

Processors work at light speed these days!

The A.D. D generation is like Veruca Salt

I want it NOW, Daddy,

NOW!!

Our mind, a remote control

The channels whiz by without second glance

Memories stored on Memory Sticks

No time for second chance

I hear stories of when things were written.... By HAND!

What?!?

No keyboard or stylus?

Penmanship?

What's that?

A luxury Liner?

(STEUPS!!) Too slow

I prefer the Concord.

Because, Time is Money

That's in credits now, by the way!

Who has time for cold, hard cash.

Plastic over paper anytime dear

Software saves us the misery of stash.

I'm too hopped up on caffeine to wait

for the day when I'm teleported from place to place

Flash!

In an Instant

Out in an Out-stant

How Outstanding?

I'm tired of standing

Waiting for a taxi in the crowded streets of Port of Spain

Stuck in de rain

Strain, Strain, Strain

shoulder to shoulder with vagrants

with such a (whoa!)

"Fragrance"

Cyar wait to get meh licence to

Kill (oops)

Female Driver on the loose

Patience is a pigment of figments of imagination

Road Rage is all the rage

Cuss out somebody

While watching yuh gas gauge

Prices skyrocketing

While I multitask

Inflation like an inflammation

Too sensitive to scratch

Crime on the rise

Cause we settle for a quick buck

Hard Luck for the poor Fuck-er

Who works for a living?

We don't even have time to demonstrate

Against the hate and the fate

Of this little island

Where words tumble form the mouths of politicians

Resplendent

Yet incoherent

Truth is lost against the noise of their falsehoods

And in the vastness of their London bank accounts

Chin up! No time to pout

But yuh could stand up in a line

Waiting for "B mobile"

Can't watch yuh chile or

Send him to school so he could spell

"Breakfastses"

While you spend a fortune on that outfit for the fete

Where you could meet Death

Wining up on yuh in a party

Whispering sweet words that intrigue you

"You know how I do,

Come back to my place

I'll give you something sweet to taste"

Go home and look in the mirror

Cyar recognize yuh face

A.I.D.S in the place

And a few S.T.D's that only a test can trace

But

Yuh just couldn't stay out of that backseat

and watch T.V.

Abstain!

Like Mr. Manning say!

The same one that's

"making it safe" for your children to play

And get plucked off the streets

Sent back in plastic black sheets,

Sold to you for ransom.

Here every creed and race finds an equal place

Only God knows where to find them

Because the "boys in blue"

Don't know what to do

The A.K.S doh have no time for you.

None of your concern

Once yuh touch you won't get burned

Live in your bubble on indifference

And in silent acceptance

Just like our generation

Vipers! Just like the older ones say

We too busy to pray

Whether or not you believe

No matter the denomination

The A.D.D Generation

Is, unfortunately, here to stay.

That's all I have to say.

Peace.

Such wit, to woo
To Smile, to fool the day into believing you're o.k.
To laugh so loud
You shake the ground
Submissive.
Be proud to know
To show that glow
That aura that surrounds you
Even when you flee glee
Just smile and say
Tomorrow's another day
But I'll take today...
Because I can.

Sitting still, keyboard under his fingertips
Slave with a white collar and a plea on his lips
Searching for change in stagnant waters
Glimpsing a ghost in the mists
He lives a half life but
When he dies he won't be missed
By the CEO in the upper echelons of society
Anyone can push paper
Completely replaceable
A pawn about to be overtaken

Mass Marketing is all aimed at him
Nothing but a consumer to be consumed
Kleenex to wipe his tears and
A Band Aid for his wounds
Segmented and dissected in order to milk him of his pay
But he's blind to the world and won't see another day
Say a prayer for the Young Urban Male.

Khristal Nicole Griffith

Little Garden
Originally uploaded by My issues are Showing.

So this is the first of the wallpapers I promised. I call this Little Garden and it contains some Vanessa Carlton lyrics to Pretty baby.

Let me know what you think.

....And hopefully soon, some new poetry.

To all those who actually read this, all 1.5 of you, I've been really busy at work lately so have been unable to post (or write, for that matter) any new material. But, I have been playing around with Photoshop at home and will put up some of my wallpaper designs soon. Mind you I'm just learning but let me know if you like them. They'll be free to use.

Until later,

Khristal.

Hi all,

This is the one of two poems I've written so far for 2006 (the second is below this one.) . They may not be very good but after the lengthy period devoid of inspiration I was so glad to put pen to paper that it didn't even matter to me. Enjoy, or not. It's up to you.

Thanks

Khristal.

The Sex in my violence

Let me slave your soul with laughter
Let me snuff your wild light out
I'd stop my heart from beating
So the sound won't wake you up

Let me smash that jaded heart
Let me slash that bold deceit
Let me smother you with gladness
Let me pry lies from your teeth

Let me crush your vengeful larynx
So those words just wont come out
Let me rend your soul of sadness
Let me shatter all your doubt

Let me rape your discerning mind
Let me provoke those unshed tears
Let me incite your crazed desires
And abandon all your cares

Let me gouge those piercing eyes
Staring far beneath my skin
Let me gag your running mouth
Don't confess the love you're in.


Khristal Griffith@)---'-------

I withdraw,
I drown my sorrows in silence,
For in my head...
The ringing is so loud.
I depend,
On everyone one else
To stop my horror
I never look to myself.

Tucked away
In the pain that comes tomorrow...
My sorrow
lies in wait
crouched down
In a the little pill of morrow
My sorrow smiles away


i plot
Of a way to ease this terror
To think of things much better
...A treasure,
Where things don't feel so wrong.
The weather
In this place of treasure
is not the gray I weather
But something that will play

Much better
Whether I weather this weather
Or whether I frown forever
Is up to none but me.

Poet's Note: Had gone through a little episode of depression when I wrote this.

Shoveled from the inside out
Stuffed with superficiality
No longer care what I'm about
But you can see right through me
You can see right through me

I act like the person I want to be
In hopes of being like them one day
You wait and watch patiently
But you can see right through me
You can see right through me

Sacrificing my ideals
For a path that's paved in the blood
from my own body, it steals
But you can see right though me

My smile is pained and plastic
And my jaw, it aches so bad
You tsk and think how tragic
But you see right through me
You can see right though me

I'm wasting away
A exoskeleton of my former self
This is the price I'm willing to pay
But you see right through me
You can see right through me

I'm a whisper of my perfect sin
Nary a tether to reality
But you grabbed and pulled me in
Because you saw right through me
Because you see right through me.

Khristal Griffith

While sipping my tea in my caravan's shelter
A knock on the door sent me flying a-skelter
Shifting my weight I rise to answer
With the dusk outside a murky dancer

A familiar young man, his eyes an earthen shade
Beckoned inside, he shivered as he came
He sat down in the chair opposite to me
Wondering what in my crystal ball I see

"I can feel the restraint behind your brown eyes
Unwilling to let yourself think,
Unearthing the fear, that exposing yourself
You'd be one step closer to your shackle's clink

I can feel the misstep inside of your feet
Before you stumble down the stair
Weakened and helpless, you grasp at nothingness
Watching yourself fall through the air

I can sense the asphyxia that shall close your throat
Making your words fizzle and die
Only the sound of your wheezing breath
And the tears that will fall when you cry

I can feel the very moment that your heart will falter
Ceasing to function inside of your chest
Cement flooding through your arteries
Turning to stone to spite your breast.

When you speak it shall happen
In just that fashion
All the things that you think become real
All this I know
Evidence my eyes show
I felt all the things you will feel

No sorceress am I,
So please don't be shy
I've lived in your shoes before
Don't let your eyes die
Be brave, son, don't cry
Escape from the horror you have in store"

Silently he ran
Into the cold night
The earthen shade of his eyes now gleamed,
"I have no fear left
I faced my demons down
I shall enjoy life so esteemed."

So that short story is taking longer to take shape than I initially anticipated. Plus classes are cutting into my schedule horribly. But I promise it will come eventually (however botched it may be). Until then check out: Bryan Edward Hill's Aggressive Fiction. His stories are amazing.

As for this week's old poem "Ghetto", it has me realizing a trend in my influences from my staunch Afrocentric father. I never noticed I was so conscious until I read it again today.

Ghetto

Stubborn yet persistent,
The mind of a young child,
Who decides to get out of
A mentality that makes him blind.
A ghetto, they say, is a way of life
The ghetto they say is of pain an strife
Believe me, I'm not ignorant I know there are slums
But why 'cause you a victim, must you be so glum
Poverty is hell, I know this is true
Many in this life can't afford the right sized shoe
But there are those who've endured and survived this ghetto of theirs
Many, too, have fallen...Misguided by peers
A great late man once said- "I came from the ghetto and I'm still here"
And he made millions off a culture that was born and bred there.
The projects, the ghetto, the slums are all a mental state
So I say wipe it clean, make your mind an empty slate
Educate yourself to succeed and rise above
And remember the ghetto is a mentality we have all come to love.

Khristal Griffith.

These are the days when I am immensely grateful for being a packrat. I just found some really old poetry while rummaging through my room. There are approximately ten of them, none really very good but I will work on them and try to improve.

I will also post the originals...one at a time, possibly one per week so that you will have something to read and offer constructive criticism on.

Here's the First.

Newborn Africa

I have taken you for granted
My skin of the richest brown
The colour of the earth
Of which I am so proud
I love you dearly,
My Black Heritage
Locked in every molecule of me
You are that missing bridge

We, black people
Though we were victims of hate
harbor no Ill will
And through this we will
And Shall be Great
Though they tortured our ancestors
In chains, like chattel to be sold
They did not go meekly
No! They did not fold
But their souls
They search forever
For an Africa of yesteryear
A place where they can finally be still
And not know such fear
We, the descendants
Though deprived of our culture
We refuse to give in
To night, the black vulture

Four centuries had passed
Four hundred years without a comb
Nearly half a millennium
Till our story was told
So I speak to you now
My voice eloquent and steady
Youth of the new generation
Go, let your hearts not be heavy
The pain though still present
Has now grown numb
Let their words fall on futile ground
Let them think they've won
Young Africa, heed my cry
Come out of your earthen tomb
Let your pure actions
Be our new fertile womb.

Khristal Griffith ( I think this was written in 2000)

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is I haven't been able to write any poetry for a while. Well nothing of substance anyway. The good news is I am taking a crack at short story writing. I'll post it by Wednesday when I have finished writing it. So if I'm not book/blogmarked already, do it and come back on Wednesday to tell me what you think.

Until then.